Sunday, August 24, 2008

beautiful.

tonight, i was doing yoga to some piano music
very relaxing, very calming
probably my favorite part of the day.
Anyway, i meditate for a few minutes after i do yoga
and tonight, i put on my favorite piano song.
Only this time, it was different.
When i inhaled, i thought about something beautiful
sunshine, fresh snow, someone's smile, feeling loved, my hilarious birthday 
and then when i exhaled, i breathed out anything negative
the way i view myself and others sometimes, swearing, not being loving and accepting, judging

i kept going back and forth and back and forth
and then, i inhaled a huge breath
and thought of Fall
the leaves
the colors
the way the world smells during the season
and i started to cry.
a good cry.
the music was still playing
and there i was
in Autumn
surrounded by a thousand beautiful things
and it was like my heart was collapsing in on itself
because the whole world felt exactly in place for just those few minutes.

i wanted to stay like that forever.
it was the best feeling i've ever had.

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